Ready to leave?
If you are in immediate danger, CALL 911. If you need help urgently but are not in immediate danger, call Option House, Inc. at 909-381-3471.
We understand that it’s not always safe for you to be here. You may need a quick-change to make sure that whoever walks in the room doesn’t see what you’re reading and hurt you. WE WANT YOU TO BE OKAY. With that in mind, peppered throughout this page you’ll find reminder buttons like the “Leave Quick!” one below, and all the featured images on this page are clickable. Each button or image will take you to a completely innocent link, totally unrelated to domestic violence and resources for those looking to escape. And hopefully, the things we’re linking you to can make you smile in the darkness, teach you something, and remind you that you matter to people. Be cautious, stay safe, and leave us if you need to. We totally get it.
Need a safe page?
Remember, whether this is your 1st time leaving an abusive relationship or your 19th, it is important to have a safety plan in place and people that you can talk to about your intentions to leave. There are many people who are safe to talk to and who can help you by providing resources you can use. Some of these people are:
- Option House, Inc.
You can reach help through the local Inland Empire organization Option House at 909-381-3471. They can assist with emergency housing, finding shelter for pets, and so on. - National Domestic Violence Hotline
You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or 1−800−787−3224 (TTY). This hotline is completely anonymous, and trained counselors can talk you through the steps of leaving. Call as many times as needed. - Teachers, Counselors, or Principals
If you have children, the staff at their school can help connect you to resources such as shelters or counseling, and can also assist you with preventing your partner from taking the children home with them if necessary. - Need a safe page?
- Human Resources
If you work outside the home, you can contact the Human Resources department at your job. They can direct you to public services that can help you, and may even have an assistance program for employees that you can use. - Doctors/Nurses
Your doctor or their nursing staff can often help you in finding resources in the community. Alternately, they may be able to set you up with a Medical Social Worker, who will have the information on programs that can help you and shelter locations, and may also be able to refer you to a psychologist for therapy that can help you process the abuse. - Family or Friends
If you have family or friends who are not part of the abuse or who you knew prior to entering the relationship, you can try reaching out to them for help. If you can reach out to more than one person, it may be easier to get a home for pets from one person, child care from another, and so on with a network than it is to get all the help you’ll need from a single person.
Photo by Daniel West from FreeImages
There are things that you can do to prepare to leave before you are actually ready to go which can increase your safety levels when you finally can get out. Making a safety plan is important to help you get out fast and safely. Identify safe places that you can go in case you need to leave quickly, such as shelters, homes of friends or public areas where there are many people and multiple exits that you can easily be picked up from. Having a safe friend and a codeword can help as well, by giving you a person that can help you leave quickly and a secret signal that helps them know you need help now. Memorize phone numbers so that should your abuser take your phone, you can still use a public phone and reach out for help. Have an alternate cell phone; in some instances an abuser may put tracking or key logging software on your main phone to keep tabs on you and have your passwords, or try to track you through the phone numbers you’ve called on the billing call log. There are many vendors who can sell you a prepaid cellular phone so that you can contact people even if your abuser takes your main phone. Make a spare set of car keys if you drive and have a vehicle in your name, so that if your abuser takes your main set of keys you can still use your vehicle. Leave these with a safe friend, along with some spare cash, spare medications, and copies of important paperwork (if necessary, on a USB drive) so that you can leave quickly and not worry about your abuser finding these items. Need a safe page? Use public-access computers such as those at a library or internet cafe where you can pay in cash for the time you use (in order to avoid a credit card billing trail) as this will help prevent your abuser from seeing your internet history and knowing you’re planning to leave. Take all evidence of abuse with you, or update a USB drive with files that you leave with your safe friend, or have uploaded to a secret cloud account on a public computer. Talk to your family doctor about getting spare medication or needed medical devices in case you are forced to leave your children’s or your items when you leave. Contact your local family court for restraining order information so that you can file one as soon as you have left the situation.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline website has more information on creating a safety plan and the trained staff can help you work through the details when you call 1-800-799-7233 OR 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).