Suicide Prevention & Self Injury

Are you experiencing a crisis? Contact one of the resources below!

Nat’l Suicide Prevention LifelineThe Trevor Project (LGBTQIA+)Veterans’ Crisis Line
Call: 1-800-273-8255
Call: 1-800-799-4889(Deaf/HOH)
Online Chat		Call 1-866-488-7386
Text 678678
Online Chat		1-800-273-8255 and press 1
Text 838255
Online Chat

Everyone feels hopeless, useless, worthless at some point in their lives. While this is certainly not true, prolonged mental health struggles or acute trauma can make it seem like these feelings reflect the reality around us. Reaching out for help can be difficult when you are in a situation where your brain is telling you that you’re a burden– even when loved ones tell you otherwise. (Psst! They mean it! You ARE worthy and you ARE loved!)

Sometimes it feels like life’s burdens are too heavy and it would be so much better to just remove yourself from the equation altogether. But here at Evolve we can tell you from personal experience on both sides that getting help does make things better, reaching out for support helps make the worst days easier. If you decide to take a permanent solution to life’s troubles there are very definitely people out there who would do absolutely anything to have you back in their lives for just one more day.

Suicide Prevention Positivity
Image from Positive Mental Health Recovery

As well, we here at Evolve have personal experience with self-injury behavior. For a while, self-injury gives you the illusion of power over the hurt dealt to you. One of our mods had the rationale that if she harmed herself, she could control when and how much she hurt and the bullies in her life would have no power over her. This was not the truth– she would injure herself after days of dealing with bullies taunting her for her second-hand clothes (her mom was a single parent on a teacher’s salary), for her weight (she had poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, associated with weight gains that are almost impossible to lose), for her intelligence and “weird” hobbies (she likes reading, crafting, archery, historical reenactment, things that weren’t typical enjoyments for teens in the ’90s).

By injuring herself to control the pain she received, but as a response to the pain dealt by her peers, she created an unhealthy coping mechanism. Using this coping mechanism placed her in a situation where had she not had the company of another friend, it could have ended in severe medical consequences or even death. And it didn’t solve the problem of the bullies making fun of her. In fact, the scars and behavior associated with her self-injuring only served to make the bullying worse. It seemed like a never-ending cycle.

Understanding the Struggle

It is highly important to remember that: suicide does not always look like a sad person alone in a room, avoiding everyone; self-injury does not always look like a dark-clad loner in long sleeves hiding cutting scars. People who have decided to commit suicide often appear to perk up, seeming happier and like they’ve made a recovery, giving gifts to friends and family. This is because they’ve made a decision at last, and are relieved that the hard part– surviving in the darkness of the world their mental state has made– is soon to be over. If a friend or loved one has been struggling for a long time and suddenly seems better, now is the time to double down, check-in, and try to get them some help!

Likewise, those who are harming themselves may in fact be cutting and hiding scars with long sleeves and pants but may also be the girl snapping a rubber band around her wrist, the boy friction-burning his feet with erasers and hiding it under his socks. Or it could be the non-binary person participating in a rough sport specifically in order to hide bruising they gave themselves smacking their arms on a doorknob. Signs and symptoms of depression, as well as hiding particular areas of the body, are key to spotting those who self-injure.

TED Talk: “Break the silence for suicide attempt survivors” by J.D. Schramm

“… when people try to assemble themselves back into life, because of our taboos around suicide, we’re not sure what to say, and so quite often we say nothing. And that furthers the isolation … people who have made the difficult choice to come back to life need more resources and need our help.”

J.D. Schramm

In both cases of self-injury and suicidal ideation, it is important to recognize that getting professional help is a gateway to better mental health. However, the individual has to be ready to accept that help. Emotional support and a friendly ear, even a shoulder to cry on and a person willing to be there during the bad days can be more of a help than someone outside the situation can know. In the absence of a professional therapist, there are people out there who are able to help, and many of these sources can be found and used anonymously online. Below is a listing of resources that you can use yourself in these situations, or direct a loved one to if they need them.